Galileo GALILEO GaLIlEiO!! Hello my dudes. First off, I would like to thank you all for bearing with me for this weekend because I had a tight schedule and I wasn’t able to post on time. For those of you wondering, my tests went fine, thanks for asking. Regardless, ladies and gents. I bring you a workout routine video today. Last week, I absolutely drowned in cookies. So I’m on a mad dash to burn off a good 3 million calories. For your information, I’m probably not gonna do another cookie special any time soon because… *heh* oof Maybe if I ever hit 5 million subs I’ll do one, but, that’s only IF I hit 5 million. Back to the workout video; I’ve been doing the same workout routine for a good seven years and no, I’m not looking to change it. It consists of 10 exercises and it takes around one hour and a half to finish. I usually do it in the mornings with my dad. While he’s swimming, I’m going insane in the weight room- It’s also nice because 1; I get it over with first thing in the morning and 2; there’s literally no one there. Like…no one Anyways, once I arrive at the facility- I like to procrastinate by taking too long to put on deodorant, put in my contacts and tie my shoes. Then, it’s time to start. Like I said before, there’s literally no one at the gym at this UNGODLY hour. AND I REVEL IN IT! The only signs of life come from the bicycle TVs, which for some reason always end up being turned on. But then again, the Walking Dead was never a really good sign of life, now was it? Now, to start off my workout, I like to warm up by doing some arm swings. I didn’t come to play and I have to loosen up the spaghetti before I get to cooking, if you know what I mean. First exercise: chin-ups and suspended leg lifts. I do 4 sets of 8 chin-ups and 8 leg lifts. I’m gonna be honest with you: it’s awful. everything hurts, it burns. My muscles feel like they’re being sucked into the vacuum of outer space- But I don’t want heart disease so… I usually end up taking a one and a half minute break between the sets, during which I can feel the monsoon of lactic acid absolutely burning through my muscles. Once you’re done with that, it’s time to move on to a relatively easy exercise, The Hip Abduction. Now, with this exercise, it’s pivotal that you cover the seat with a towel, because male sweat is nasty Also be careful to not flash the entire gym with your Va-jay-jay. This exercise definitely puts the area where the sun doesn’t shine on full display So you better be careful Once I’ve done 4 sets of 15 of this exercise, we go on to it’s sibling; The Hip Adduction. Once again, I cannot stress this enough, protect your
va-hee-hee I’ll admit creepy old men have stared at me while I was doing this exercise, but it doesn’t matter because I can lift more than them! Now we go on to the abdominals. I grab a thick weight and do 4 sets of 15 sit-ups. I want washboard abs! NAY, I WANT LEGO BRICK ABS!! Oh, what’s that? We’re halfway done? Uh-huh. Okay. Thanks Jesus *slams down phone* *slams down microphones* *mumbling* *more mumbling* *uncomfortable silence* OH OHH- ♪ WE’RE HALF WAY THEREE ♪ This is when we’ve entered the homestretch of the routine. The sixth exercise, leg press. I’m not here to skip leg day. Next, the tricep extension. Be careful! If you extend your triceps too much, they will get mad at you and SUE you! Trust me it’s happened to me before and it was not fun. We’ve reached the final 3 exercises of my routine and let me say they are by far the hardest ones. You’re gonna start by kidnapping a very heavy and very powerful bench. The one I need is always located on the complete opposite side of the gym that I’m on- So I have to lug it across an obstacle course of workout machines every single time This is where the madness begins. I actually got this exercise from my dad and it never fails to make me break a sweat! I don’t really know what to call it so we’ll just call it the “Step-up on the iron bench thingy with weights, but do it with each leg so you aren’t a lopsided Lucy.” Yes. Now, in between sets I do 15 squats. Actually that reminds me, you know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? Girls- *hrm* Excuse me, INDIVIDUALS, who go to the gym, to just do squats and take mirror selfies. How do I say this nicely- STOP IT! Get some help! Anyways, back to the video. As aforementioned, this exercise is for some indefinable reason, the hardest one I do. I don’t even know why, it’s so basic but it gets me every time! I literally flop on a medicine ball and just lie there for a whole fat minute in between sets. Once that exercise is finished, we’re on to our last one. Push-ups. But these are not just regular push-ups no, no, no! They’re push-ups with added spices! Taking a big and round 10 pound plate, you’re gonna do a bit of a balancing act with it on your back and then put your feet up on a bench- and then we begin! I do 4 sets of 12 of these and my face is always a tomato after each set. My headphones, they make my ears heat up an astronomical amount, but I keep going. Ears. on. FIRE. And once you’ve finished we are officially done. Now it’s only a question of getting ready to go home! So I take out my contacts and change into more comfy clothes needless to say, it’s at this point that the hunger hits me. I’m a ravenous chupacabra! Actually, I remember when I was a demon child, I was absolutely mortified of those creatures! I wonder where they’re now. Has anyone ever found one? If so, what do they smell like? What do they look like? Do they have best friends? These are questions- Oh. I guess the video is over. Okay bye!