WeLcOMe tO mY wORkoUT rOutiNE

WeLcOMe tO mY wORkoUT rOutiNE


Galileo GALILEO GaLIlEiO!! Hello my dudes. First off, I would like to thank you all for bearing with me for this weekend because I had a tight schedule and I wasn’t able to post on time. For those of you wondering, my tests went fine, thanks for asking. Regardless, ladies and gents. I bring you a workout routine video today. Last week, I absolutely drowned in cookies. So I’m on a mad dash to burn off a good 3 million calories. For your information, I’m probably not gonna do another cookie special any time soon because… *heh* oof Maybe if I ever hit 5 million subs I’ll do one, but, that’s only IF I hit 5 million. Back to the workout video; I’ve been doing the same workout routine for a good seven years and no, I’m not looking to change it. It consists of 10 exercises and it takes around one hour and a half to finish. I usually do it in the mornings with my dad. While he’s swimming, I’m going insane in the weight room- It’s also nice because 1; I get it over with first thing in the morning and 2; there’s literally no one there. Like…no one Anyways, once I arrive at the facility- I like to procrastinate by taking too long to put on deodorant, put in my contacts and tie my shoes. Then, it’s time to start. Like I said before, there’s literally no one at the gym at this UNGODLY hour. AND I REVEL IN IT! The only signs of life come from the bicycle TVs, which for some reason always end up being turned on. But then again, the Walking Dead was never a really good sign of life, now was it? Now, to start off my workout, I like to warm up by doing some arm swings. I didn’t come to play and I have to loosen up the spaghetti before I get to cooking, if you know what I mean. First exercise: chin-ups and suspended leg lifts. I do 4 sets of 8 chin-ups and 8 leg lifts. I’m gonna be honest with you: it’s awful. everything hurts, it burns. My muscles feel like they’re being sucked into the vacuum of outer space- But I don’t want heart disease so… I usually end up taking a one and a half minute break between the sets, during which I can feel the monsoon of lactic acid absolutely burning through my muscles. Once you’re done with that, it’s time to move on to a relatively easy exercise, The Hip Abduction. Now, with this exercise, it’s pivotal that you cover the seat with a towel, because male sweat is nasty Also be careful to not flash the entire gym with your Va-jay-jay. This exercise definitely puts the area where the sun doesn’t shine on full display So you better be careful Once I’ve done 4 sets of 15 of this exercise, we go on to it’s sibling; The Hip Adduction. Once again, I cannot stress this enough, protect your
va-hee-hee I’ll admit creepy old men have stared at me while I was doing this exercise, but it doesn’t matter because I can lift more than them! Now we go on to the abdominals. I grab a thick weight and do 4 sets of 15 sit-ups. I want washboard abs! NAY, I WANT LEGO BRICK ABS!! Oh, what’s that? We’re halfway done? Uh-huh. Okay. Thanks Jesus *slams down phone* *slams down microphones* *mumbling* *more mumbling* *uncomfortable silence* OH OHH- ♪ WE’RE HALF WAY THEREE ♪ This is when we’ve entered the homestretch of the routine. The sixth exercise, leg press. I’m not here to skip leg day. Next, the tricep extension. Be careful! If you extend your triceps too much, they will get mad at you and SUE you! Trust me it’s happened to me before and it was not fun. We’ve reached the final 3 exercises of my routine and let me say they are by far the hardest ones. You’re gonna start by kidnapping a very heavy and very powerful bench. The one I need is always located on the complete opposite side of the gym that I’m on- So I have to lug it across an obstacle course of workout machines every single time This is where the madness begins. I actually got this exercise from my dad and it never fails to make me break a sweat! I don’t really know what to call it so we’ll just call it the “Step-up on the iron bench thingy with weights, but do it with each leg so you aren’t a lopsided Lucy.” Yes. Now, in between sets I do 15 squats. Actually that reminds me, you know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? Girls- *hrm* Excuse me, INDIVIDUALS, who go to the gym, to just do squats and take mirror selfies. How do I say this nicely- STOP IT! Get some help! Anyways, back to the video. As aforementioned, this exercise is for some indefinable reason, the hardest one I do. I don’t even know why, it’s so basic but it gets me every time! I literally flop on a medicine ball and just lie there for a whole fat minute in between sets. Once that exercise is finished, we’re on to our last one. Push-ups. But these are not just regular push-ups no, no, no! They’re push-ups with added spices! Taking a big and round 10 pound plate, you’re gonna do a bit of a balancing act with it on your back and then put your feet up on a bench- and then we begin! I do 4 sets of 12 of these and my face is always a tomato after each set. My headphones, they make my ears heat up an astronomical amount, but I keep going. Ears. on. FIRE. And once you’ve finished we are officially done. Now it’s only a question of getting ready to go home! So I take out my contacts and change into more comfy clothes needless to say, it’s at this point that the hunger hits me. I’m a ravenous chupacabra! Actually, I remember when I was a demon child, I was absolutely mortified of those creatures! I wonder where they’re now. Has anyone ever found one? If so, what do they smell like? What do they look like? Do they have best friends? These are questions- Oh. I guess the video is over. Okay bye!

100 comments on “WeLcOMe tO mY wORkoUT rOutiNE

  1. c j Post author

    if girls- sorry, individuals- want to go to the gym to do squats and post mirror selfies let them lol they’re the ones paying to go there?? it’s not like they’re using your money

    Reply
  2. Billie EilishBillie Eilish Billie Eilish Post author

    Hi I have subed to you my names Kara I’m 8 and could you please react to memes

    Reply
  3. ebeks16 Playz Post author

    anyone have any good (and clean) workout songs? I want a good playlist but can't find good music

    Reply
  4. SarahElizabethLynchDesigns Post author

    That's a yoga ball, not a medicine ball. And girl, you're doing weighted cardio, no wonder it kills you.

    Reply
  5. Jade Oh no Post author

    It has been legit two days, when I watched her vid a day ago she was at 2.7 million subs now she is at 2.8 million, good job 👏👏👏

    Reply
  6. Poppymae 1 Post author

    What if joana is in a big crowd and then she gets pushed into someone but she locks into them bc of her LEGO brick abs

    Reply
  7. AmyJayne Post author

    Aight but how in the hell you doing chin-ups like that?! I wanna be a lego-brick-ab walking dorito too!! You are Goals, good sir

    Reply
  8. Jayden Krug Post author

    “Creepy old men have stared at me but it doesn’t matter because I can lift more than them” 👏🏼👏🏼

    Reply
  9. SuperColorful Post author

    Good video- but how in hell do your beats not fall off when your working out?! That always happens to me ;-;

    Reply
  10. Stephanie Glover Post author

    — “what’s that we’re half way done, thanks Jesus” gets up walks to corner of the room

    Me: thinks to self please be going into that corner to sing we’re half way there

    —🎶 OoohHHh 🎶

    Me: FUCK YAAAAAH✊🏻

    Reply
  11. kate Post author

    Why is Joana perfect? Like yes, a relatable teen youtuber who I'd actually a great role model for kids and other teens.

    Reply
  12. Angela W Post author

    Reply random things in this comment and after a week I’ll change the comment so none of them make sense

    Reply
  13. billie eilish Post author

    Wait wait wait…she said that she had done this intense workout for 7 years…….THIS MEANS SHE HAS DONE THIS SINCE SHE WAS 10!!!😶😶

    Reply
  14. Michael O Callaghan Post author

    Me in the gym: weights, a weird machine thing for chest and shoulders, and treadmill until collapse

    Joanna, I mean John Cena, in the gym: marathon, backflips, cartwheels, yoga, baking, pottery and chin-ups

    Reply
  15. AllSports Post author

    Your push up form is bad for your shoulders. Fingers should be pointing outwards. Other than that great workout

    Reply
  16. Rambling ASMR Post author

    Very personable and funny. Highly intelligent and has a work ethic that most would envy.

    I do find myself examining my own morals watching 18 year old videos. Not that it's a bad thing, but some would question why.

    To put it simply, videos are extremely entertaining even though she often ridicules them to be terrible. They aren't. Just seems genuine and a goal orientated person with a lot to offer.

    No idea why I wrote this or rambled on for so long.

    Conclusion: well done Joana Ceddia.

    Reply
  17. Movie Madness Post author

    Do you like Queen??? Because QUEEN IS GREAT!!! I LOVE IT!!! If so, what is your favorite song. Mine is THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!

    Reply
  18. UnblockLondon Post author

    This is like normie edginess that i would equate to liking the Bloodtype B emoji.

    And also get a real program, no idea what this is supposed to accomplish. It's full body but still a bunch of isolation exercises, the chinups and pushups are great though. I'd rather have someone only squat on one day than do all of this wacko shit.

    Edit: this whole comment sounds like some dumb hate thread but this is literally the first of your videos i've seen

    Reply
  19. Tayloch Post author

    Not eating animals and animal products (saturated animal fats and dietary cholesterol) prevent heart disease.

    Reply
  20. Humberto Rosales Post author

    You are the representation of what my father wants me to be:
    Wake up early
    Do exercise
    Do well at school
    Paint or read in my free time

    Also I love how you are no that kind of people that goes to the gym to do abdominals and take selfies

    Reply

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