[theme music] [Marc] Ladies and gentleman, welcome to The Earliest Show
with Josh and Sam. ♪ – [Josh is making sounds]
– Thank you. Welcome to
The Earliest Show.
How are ya? I’m feeling good.
I’m feeling like a guy
who-who can change and change his ways
and make people happy
by making sure that he’s a
different person. Wow! Big answer! Mmm. Let’s hit it! – [Josh vocalizes the theme song]
– No, we are not done at all. We’ll get to it soon
though. Here we go. [sigh] You are really looking
good today though, I’ll say that. This looks like the outfit
from our makeover yesterday. Oh, come on. It is. You stole it
from the back I guess. We have any
retractions today? Actually, of course we do.
We have a big retraction. We said yesterday that you
only have to go to the dentist – two times in your life–
– That couldn’t have been true. We all know that
couldn’t have been true. …Turns out you gotta
go every six months. I mean, I’m almost certain,
we know we were going to
get retracted yesterday. When we were there,
I was like, “We are going to
get retracted yesterday.” Do you know
what I mean? – You are slurring.
– I’m not slurring. What’s in the cup?
Now have you heard
about this? Have you heard about
popping and dropping? Oooh, is it like this? No, but your coat’s squeaking. [chuckles] No, popping and dropping
is something like college kids
are doing right now. Marc, we’re going
to have to fill it up one
more time. I ran out. – I ran out of fuel.
– Well, he ran out of whatever
it was in there. – [giggling]
– College kids are
popping and dropping which means they are
laying down getting up
as fast as they can so they faint
right away. Wow. Why would they do that?
Where’s the joy from that? I think it just comes from
losing your mind for a second. – [Josh is laughing]
– Oh… Am I funny? Thanks bud.
Where you going? Oh, I guess we’re going
to The Social Wall.
Get that music going Marc. ♪ [Sam] Uh-oh, he’s
really dancing today.
Wooo! ♪ Hey, you still
over there? [music continues] Very loose.
Very loose. – [breathing heavily]
– Uh-oh. Gettin’ tight. Social Wall presented
by Cap’n Crunch.
Here we go. First one up! @WeakSauce14:
Chillin’ with my bros right now. What kind of fun
games do you know? I guess my favorite game,
if I ever play again, was
Duck, duck, goose but playing with
actual ducks and geese. – Oh.
– And bring it back! [music starts up again] – Stop it, stop it.
We don’t have enough time.
– Oh-OK. [clears throat]
What’s the next post? [Sam] “What’s the most
embarrassing thing that’s happened to
you this week?” – Hmmmm. Mmm.
– Hmmmm. Me, I guess it’s when I crashed
my car into a stop sign. You crashed your
car into a stop sign? – Yeah.
– Were you stopping – or you didn’t even know?
– That’s the problem. [laughing] Me? It would have to be–
Let me think, let me think. [mumbling] Oh yeah, it would probably
be when I proposed
to my girlfriend… [mumbling] he doesn’t know
that we’re live on the air,
and then I felt really bad. OK. Let’s hop on to the next post. – @TheRealJoshBath
– This is me. I Social’d this. You Social’d to us. [Sam] “If I changed my ways
can I get back with Emily?” – This is a poll here.
– This is a poll now. What I want to see is
what our audience thought. I voted… I don’t know.
I’m not going to tell you
how I voted, but I voted– Let’s see what the audience
has to say, next. – [bleep] For real?
– Ooooh. 96% no. Well, how many
people voted? 25 votes. So I was the only
one who said, yes? Yes. Alright, let’s take it
to a commercial. – ♪
– We’ll see you back with
more of The Earliest Show – when everybody’s here.
– OK. Are you serious
with this? ♪ – ♪
– SpoonX, the only spoon 8.5 times
as great as the normal spoon. SpoonX looks and works exactly
like a normal spoon, but it’s better. The normal spoon
barely holds anything but check out the cereal
mountain on SpoonX. Order now. ♪ Welcome back to
The Earliest Show. – I’m Joshua Bath.
– You know who I am. That’s Sammy-Sams.
You know sometimes
during this segment what we like to do
is we like to sit back,
relax, and take a big sip. Actually, no.
We do something
else here. – Introduce.
– Oh right. Oh my goodness.
Today we have an actress
that’s been in movies that you’ve heard of and
TV shows you’ve heard of and she acts, she takes lines,
and she says them out loud
in front of a camera. They say “Action. Cut,”
and then they print it out,
they edit it– – Get to the point!
– Ladies and gentleman,
Jane Levy. [squealing] Hi! – Oh, did you want to
– Sure. – Sorry.
– No, that’s OK. – Hi!
– Hi! – How are you?
– Thanks for having me. – Take a seat.
– OK. Take a seat.
Ooooh. Ooh. OK.
Let’s get right into it. Oh good.
We have a lot of
questions by the way. You ever been
in a band before? – No.
– Well, can you sing? – I was going to say.
– Can you sing?
‘Cause we do harmonies. – No I can’t really.
– Great let’s sing. So do a note,
just do any note,
and we’ll harmonize. Any note. It can be bad
and we’ll figure it out.
We’re great at this. – Perfect. OK.
– OK. [harmonizing] [overlapping harmonizing] – Nailed it.
– Cool. So you and your
driver’s test, you
failed the first time– – Where did you find these things?
– Marc, can I be honest with you? Marc does all of his
weirdest research on you. What’s the main website you
find all of our celeb guests at? Is it a garbage can?
I feel like you go to their
garbage cans. Well, I don’t want to
reveal all of my sources. If it’s a garbage can,
legally you have to tell Jane that you’ve been in
her garbage can. – Is that true?
– Yes. – Look me in the eyes.
– What? Marc, have you been
going through everybody’s trash? – No.
– Marc, look me in the eyes. – What?
– Have you been going
through everybody’s trash? – No.
– Can I be honest with you, and
you can tell me what you think? You know, I went
through a thing– Do you know about it–
I don’t have to go into it? – That’s not on the card.
– Well, this is on the cards
in here. I went through a thing,
and I’m feeling kind of– I’m feeling kind of great,
but I’m also like,
I want to change. I mean, tell me if this is me
sticking my nose, you know,
where I don’t belong, my friends, when we are feeling down,
we like role play together. You know what I mean?
And it like helps us like… Do you want me to play Emily,
and you can play you and we can– – Yes.
– Maybe we can find– – Yes, I would like
that very much.
– Yeah. So you play Emily.
I’m going play just Bath,
and let’s do it, OK? – Who am I?
– You play my
grandpa Louie. – OK.
– OK. – Do you love yourself?
– I’m watching the game. Louie, hold on.
I kinda do, but you know
what I love even more? – I love you.
– Yeah but, before that,
before you met me… – What is this, piss?
– Louie, come on. – Did you love yourself?
– Coffee tastes like piss. Why, do you think I
have to work on myself? Get my eyeball
from the glass! Louie, come on.
We’ll get your eyeball later. – How about this–
– My hole hurts. OK! I know
your hole hurts. I don’t know if it’s fixable
through a conversation. – Josh, I’m sleeping in your bed tonight.
– Louie, don’t sleep in Josh’s bed. – And you’re sleeping in there too.
– Louie. Will you marry me? – Don’t get married. It’s a hoax.
– Look at me. – Emily, will you marry me?
– It’s America’s hoax. Emily? Um, no. Louie, she–
What’s wrong with you? Louie, can you hear me?
Louie, can you hear me? Louie… Marc!
We gotta get a medic
for Louie! Louie’s gone!
Louie, it’s me Josh!
Are you okay? [gasping] Yeah! I am alright… just like I’ve
always been. You know what?
Stick around in a second.
We’ll be right back with Fitness Zeal with Katie Veal.
See ya! – ♪
– We’re going to get
our workout on. – [Josh] Did you have a bar mitzvah?
– [Jane] I did. [Josh] What was your
theme for your bar mitzvah? [Jane] No theme.
Did you have a theme at yours? [Josh] Of course I did:
Edward Scissorhands. Everybody got 3 pairs
of big ol’ scissors. Oh, so fun to have
you back. Listen, it’s our
favorite time of the week. It is time for Fitness Zeal
with Katie Veal. – …Katie Veal.
– I got it. We already nailed it. So Katie comes every single week.
She is our fitness expert. We love working out with you.
What are you going to
teach us today? Oh, well you guys know
that I view it as a perfect way
to stay in shape. What is it? And it’s easy to do anywhere,
and I promise you, in any space. Guys…
it’s Tiny Workout. – [Sam gasps]
– We’re doing a Tiny Workout? – We’re doing a Tiny Workout.
– Well, how tiny? Is this tiny? Ooh, that’s way to big! – [imitating] Is this tiny?
– Oh, that’s even bigger
than what he did. – [imitating] Is this tiny?
– No it’s not! Oh. It’s a workout that you
can do in any tiny space,
like the size of this yoga mat which is essentially the size
of my apartment, which is a closet in a house where
a lovely family lives. Do they know you
live in the closet? Uh-huh. – Let’s start the music.
– [dance music] Let’s get…
Swimmin’, swimmin’, – swimmin’.
– OK. We’re going to jump out of
the water, and so we’re a dolphin. And then we’re going to
spin around, spin around, but keep your arms
pretty close together because you don’t want
to knock over all the family
photos you’ve stolen. And bring it down,
bring it down. Why would you steal family
photos from the family? It makes me happy,
looking at what other
people have and I don’t. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Have you ever had
to fight off rats? This is what you do.
You got to punch them
in the throat. Let’s reverse.
Let’s reverse. Now stop. Go get that
bathroom bucket. Ooooh. The what… – What, what…
– What are we asking? Well let’s say you
have just been asked, if you’re digging through
the garbage out front of the house you’ve
been secretly living in,
and you just got to go… What… [together] What, what, what. Perfect. Uh-oh, now it’s
time to get low. Get low,
get low, get low. Let’s get down on one knee.
Write a proposal. You know what
I’m talking about,
like you with Emily. OK. Uh-oh.
Do you have the ring?
Do you have the ring? – Oh, I got the ring.
– I got the ring. But I’m just joking,
just playing. Open, open, and open,
and open. She said yes, she said yes,
she said yes, she said yes, she said yes,
she said yes. Your life is going to change.
Your life is going to change. Your life is going to change.
Your life is going to change. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. – Josh?
– We lost him. He had a rough week,
so maybe we’ll just let him
lay there, OK? – OK, great.
– I think that brings us to
the end of our show. Katie, that was so much fun.
Thank so much. Thanks for watching.
Tune in tomorrow for more
guests and mischief. Good night and
good morning. – That was amazing. So much fun.
– Thanks so much. – I’m going to use that too.
– Oh yeah, please. [Marc] Really nice day today guys.
Good stuff. Good stuff.